Well, you got into Harvard. Great job. But you’ve got the hard part done, haven’t you? No, actually, now comes the part where you have to meet people. It feels like navigating a complex game of chess in which everyone else already has the book on how to play. Do not worry; there are others who are equally disoriented. This institution is filled with smart, driven, and sometimes frightening people. And your task is to connect with yours without going insane. It is very possible, and you do not have to turn into someone new.
The Falsehood of the “Harvard Network”
Now let’s talk about the proverbial elephant in the room. Every single person mentions “the Harvard Network” as some kind of an exclusive society that one somehow becomes a member of upon entering the campus. This is far from being true. Harvard Network is a big, sprawling mass of people who graduated from Harvard. Considering it as some kind of unified body you need to master and conquer will make you anxious. You create your network within the big one. You do it by taking classes together, pulling all-nighters at Lamont Library, eating awful food at Annenberg Hall. The real connections form through struggling together and making fun of the shuttle bus. Do not attempt networking. Be a human being who has interest in other human beings.
The Classroom as a Launchpad
Your classes are not just a place to learn about molecular biology or the Peloponnesian War. They are your best shot to start. You are all stuck in one classroom grappling with the same thoughts. This is a natural platform where you can connect. Talk during discussion sections. Not to boast, but to ask an honest question or develop further on what others have said. After the class, walk up to that person sitting next to you and say, "This thought on Hegel was fascinating," or "I am completely confused about problem set number three." Instantly you have established a connection. Michael Sandel’s class 'Justice' is famous for many reasons, and one of them is that it encourages just this kind of interaction. It is not enough to show up; you must participate.
Beyond the Yard: Houses and Clubs
Your House is the place where you'll spend the coming years. You'll be eating, sleeping, and putting things off here. Embrace this place. Go to those study breaks that serve free food. Sign up for that intramural volleyball team even if you suck at it. That's what the House system is all about – forming a community, but it can only happen when you make an appearance. And then there are the clubs. Harvard has a club for everything – Harvard Lampoon to Harvard College Consulting Group. What you have to do is find those one or two clubs that matter to you and attend regularly. Making one appearance at the Harvard Undergraduate Robotics Club meeting is not going to get you anywhere. Attending weekly for a semester is what it takes to become part of the team.
The Awkward Art of the Follow-Up
You meet an awesome person at a party or in your class. You get into a fantastic discussion. And then you leave and don’t ever talk to each other again. That’s the Harvard connection cemetery. Don’t let this be you. Follow up, follow up, follow up! Send them a text or email the next day. Keep it straightforward. “Great chatting about that documentary last night. Want to grab a coffee at the Smith Campus Center soon?” It’s weird. It’s weird for everybody. But do it. Those who can pull off such an awkward task are the ones who will develop meaningful relationships.
The Hidden Truth: Show Your Genuine Interest
And here is the most important part. The most attractive people in Harvard are not those who have the most outstanding CVs. They are the people who ask questions and pay attention to the answers to those questions. Wonder about the astrophysics major who is from rural Wyoming. Wonder about the cellist who is playing in your entryway. Everyone at Harvard has an even more fascinating story than his/her GPA. When you stop trying to show something and start learning from the people around you, the connections will come naturally. Your people will appear in the library at 2 AM, sitting in the last row of a packed class, or arguing about the best pizza place in Harvard Square (which, by the way, is Pinocchio's). The network will build itself when you become really interested in the world around you. Now go and talk to somebody.